S50 – His Supplication in FearS50 – His Supplication in Fear

O God,

You created me without fault,

nurtured me when small,

and provided me with sufficiency.



O God,

I found in the Book

which You sent down

and through which You gave good news to Your servants,

that You said,

O My servants who have been prodigal against yourselves,

do not despair of God’s mercy,

surely God forgives all sins,261

but there has gone ahead from me what You know

(and of which You know more than I)!

O the shame of what Your Book has counted against me!262



Were it not for the places

where I expectantly hope for Your pardon,

which enfolds all things,

I would have thrown myself down [in despair]!

Were anyone able to flee from his Lord,

I would be the most obligated to flee from You!

But not a secret in earth and heaven is concealed from You,

except that You bring it.263

You suffice as a recompenser!

You suffice as a reckoner!264



O God,

surely You would seek me if I flee

and catch me if I run.

So here I am before You,

abject, lowly, abased.

If You chastise me,

I am worthy of that,

and it would be, my Lord, an act of justice from You.

But if You pardon me,

anciently has Your pardon enfolded me

and Your well-being garmented me!



So I ask You, O God,

by Your names stored in Your treasury265

and Your splendor masked by the veils!

If You have no mercy upon this anxious soul

and these uneasy, decaying bones –

he cannot endure the heat of Your sun,

so how can he endure the heat of Your Fire?

He cannot endure the sound of Your thunder,

so how can he endure the sound of Your wrath?



So have mercy upon me, O God,

for I am a vile man

and my worth is little.

Chastising me will not add the weight of a dust mote

to Your kingdom.

Were chastising me something that would add to Your kingdom,

I would ask You for patience to bear it

and would love for it to belong to You;

but Your authority, my God, is mightier,

and Your kingdom more lasting,

than that the obedience of the obeyers should increase it

or the disobedience of the sinners diminish it!



So have mercy upon me,

O Most Merciful of the merciful!

Show me forbearance,

O Possessor of majesty and munificence!

And turn toward me,

Surely You are Ever-turning, All-compassionate!



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